sinslaidbare's Diaryland Diary

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Oh my God, Becky, look at her problem!

Zo says:Awhile back, Max was asked a question about doggy style sex.
Apparently, one of his friends (we'll call her Miss Booty) was having troubles with it, and wondered if it possible that either her boy's johnson was too small, or her ass was too big to make it work for them.

In the interest of making sure Miss Booty got boned satisfactorily, Max brought the question to me. I thought about it, mulled it over, and then thought some more. I even conducted personal research into it, both online AND in the bedroom. I take sexual problems very seriously, and am more than willing to experiment in order to find a solution for someone who's having trouble. Thoughtful, aren't I?

Anyways, I found that nearly 90% of men have a penis between 5 and 7 inches long, according to the Alfred C. Kinsey Institute for Sex Research. So, while it's possible that his pecker is a wee one, chances are pretty good that it falls within the category of "average." [Note: the company that makes Real Dolls sells the males with 2, 7, or 9 penii. I dont know why, but that seems important. Max]

Butt size, on the other hand, is a way different story. To my knowledge, there are no important sounding institutes that measure exactly how much junk is in one's trunk, let alone publish statistics and determine averages. We'll just assume that Miss Booty has a quite rounded bottom.

So, assuming that there is nothing greatly out of the ordinary with how these two rear entry enthusiasts are shaped, I figure there must be some kind of a problem with how they are attempting it. This is where my carefully conducted bedroom research comes into play.

Like billiards, sex is a game of angles. If you want to pocket your ball (so to speak), you'll have to line things up right. If Miss Booty is concerned that her ass might be too big, I get the sense that maybe she's trying to hide it by rounding out her back and tucking it under.

This just isn't going to work. Nope, no way, no how. The geometry of love is a cruel mistress sometimes.


I found a few practical fixes for this problem.

1) Stay with "hands and knees" but arch the back, and stick the ass up in the air.

2) Move to "elbows and knees", and stick the ass up in the air.

3) Try "shoulders and knees" (Yeah, that's right. Assume the position, Miss Booty, then lie your upper body down on a pillow or the bed) ...
and stick the ass up in the air!

4) Following closely after number 3, Max suggests laying down completely, with your legs only slightly apart, and a goodly amount of pillow or one of our Liberator line of sex furnishings underneath your hips. With your legs straight, but your butt tiled up into the air, our hero can get behind you with his legs outside of yours, and penetrate you that way. This position provides excellent leverage and depth.

5) Sometimes its easier just to get everything out of the way bay laying on your side instead. Keep your bottom leg straight, and have your man straddle that thigh, while angling your top leg up and out of the way. This can quite often be an easy way to get everything out of the way without needing to grab a pillow or other device.

You have to stick that ass out, as it's the only way that I've found (and yes... I, Zoe, have a bit of back myself) to really work those angles and allow easy access to the goods. Hopefully, you'll be too happy with the results to worry much about your ass being out there.

Good luck!

8:04 p.m. - 2006-10-12

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